What is a good relationship to me?
A wonderful therapist friend of mine encouraged me to ask myself that question. When she first proposed it to me it felt overwhelming to answer. It also felt a little scary to me.
I think that it is a huge question and one we don’t ever seem to ask ourselves. What does a good relationship look like in my opinion?
So I got out my journal and began to answer What is a good relationship to me? I was surprised how easily the words just flowed and before I knew I had over a page of what a good relationship looks like to me. Things like:
Being loved for who I am
Open honest transparent communication
Listening to each other
Supportive of each other
Caring & kind to each other
Having new experiences together
Sharing different activities together
Warmth and affection
Spending quality time together
Time to be with my own friends
Taking a nap together
Speaking up if you are challenged
Then a miracle happened… I asked the person I love to do the same and we had a really great time sharing each other’s thoughts and ideas. It helped us both to identify what we want and to see each other more clearly.
I encourage you to spend some time this week asking yourself the question “What Is A Good Relationship To Me?” and writing down whatever comes out. It is truly a beneficial and worthwhile exercise and one that is sure to give you some clarity on how to CREATE GREAT LOVE in your own life.
My picture this week came to me as I was shopping around town… it makes me smile cause I LOVE things that sparkle!
“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be… worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.”
– Erica Jong (American Author & Teacher)
Today is a very special blog for me. I am travelling to Europe for my little Brother’s wedding!! I honestly feel that he is so brave and courageous. I dedicate this week’s blog to him and his lovely new wife. May they have a lifetime of CREATING GREAT LOVE together!
Below is the poem I will be sharing at the wedding celebrations. I feel it perfectly sums up my thoughts about LOVE. I hope you enjoy it as well!!
“Sooner or later we begin to understand that love is more than verses on valentines, and romance in the movies. We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives. For love is the creator of our favorite memories and the foundation of our fondest dreams.
Love is a promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely of places. And this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy, is the greatest treasure of all – one known only by those who love.”
My picture this week is the name of a clothing store I came across… the name is just divine!!
“Everything in our life should be based on love”.
– Ray Bradbury (American Science Fiction Writer)
Sometimes realizing you are in love feels like you are out of control, it can feel like you are falling down the rabbit hole. However, it doesn’t have to be this way if you TRUST YOURSELF. You get to set the pace, you get to take small steps so it’s a natural, gentle progression for you. Love should never be forced, it should be comfortable and easy. What is there to rush too anyway? If you stay centered and follow your heart it will always guide you to exactly where you want to be.
There does come a time where LOVE will ask you to grow and stretch yourself. This will inevitably happen. However, no matter how scary it may feel initially, it is important to stay present and open during this time. It is your soul calling you to reach higher, desire more for yourself and your life and encouraging you to TAKE RISKS. Its about expanding your comfort zone. If you lift weights when you go to the gym, after a short while it’s comfortable to stay at the same weight time after time however if you just raise the weight even 5 pounds you will be pushing through your comfort zone. The benefit of this is HUGE. It not only gives you the confidence to go even further the next time, you also feel really good because you have accomplished something that will greatly benefit you and will bring you closer to what you want.
Try this affirmation and really feel the word “ease” and exhale as you say it – “The relationship I want is one of ease.”
My picture this week came to me while I was shopping at the mall… Its delicious and one of the most magical things in life!!
“Love is supposed to be easy. It’s our human dramas that make it difficult.” – Samantha Rosen
It’s important to focus on your desires about love. Otherwise we can find ourselves at old default thinking. What is it you want? Choosing words that are general can really help when you don’t know what the specifics look like. Thoughts like: I want a relationship that is easy, comfortable, soft, gentle and sure, real, honest and true, passionate, vital and alive, full, certain and secure, confident, open, expansive and delicious. (These general words come directly from the wisdom of Abraham through Esther Hicks. You can hear more of their genius on YouTube.)
Distractions and drama can show up unexpectedly in our daily lives if we are not consciously focusing on what it is we want. Sometimes it takes effort to consciously choose our thoughts and pay attention to what we are focusing on, rather than allow negativity to take over us. If we want to see improvement in our lives and in our relationships, positive focus is a necessary step to take. I know that has led a lot of the top athletes and sportspeople to success. Over time they have developed laser point focus. I know we are all capable of this powerful focus when it comes to CREATING GREAT LOVE in our own lives.
Let’s remind ourselves this week to only focus on what we truly want.
My picture this week is a sweet gift given to me by one of my dearest friends…a great reminder to love.
“There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves.” – Elizabeth Gilbert (Author of “Eat Pray Love”)
Sometimes life can get so serious that we forget to have fun with LOVE. It feels so good to just relax and let go where love is concerned. It feels so comfortable and easy to just have fun!!
I LOVE having new adventures and new experiences. Sometimes it takes being brave and having the courage to do that. Going somewhere by yourself where you have never been before or just hanging out playing video games together at the arcade are just a couple of examples to open yourself up to having more fun. Perhaps it’s doing something you know your partner would like or just being willing and open to do things a little differently. That is all it takes to CREATE GREAT LOVE in your life. Allowing change can open you up to a whole new world of exciting possibilities. Taking the first step to create more fun, is setting the intention to have fun before you take the action.
Let’s have some fun this week!!
I am very excited to share this week’s picture with you…It is my new logo!!!
“Love is being stupid together.” – Paul Valery (French Poet & Philosopher)
I often read the daily news online at Yahoo and it is guaranteed there is sure to be an article somewhere on there about love and relationships. Often times it’s a ‘how to’ piece. Like how to have a successful marriage or what to do on a date. This week though was different. I came across a piece about a woman who is successful, has a good career, owns her own home however she was unmarried. She went on to explain that the people around her constantly question what is wrong with her and why isn’t she married with children. It was so refreshing to hear her say that she felt like people do not question marriage or relationships or having children that they just expect that is what everyone should do. Often times it’s out of tradition not necessarily because we actually want it.
I agree wholeheartedly that we must really look at our own individual situations and lives and ask ourselves questions like: Do I want to be married? Do I want to have children? Do I want to have a committed relationship? When it comes to creating great love THERE ARE NO RULES! That is the gift we have been given as humans – we get to choose. We get to decide what GREAT LOVE looks like to us. It does not have to conform to anyone else’s view or opinion. It is such an individual choice. Thank goodness we no longer live in the times of Jane Austen when women had to marry well to secure their future. Instead now we get to create our own future exactly as we want it to be. What a relief!!!
This week’s picture was right beside me on the freeway in Los Angeles. I find the words such a great reminder and I just adore that the car is red!!!
“In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities”.
– Janos Arnay (Hungarian Journalist, Writer & Poet)
For a long time I knew that I desired a relationship based on SACRED LOVE. What does the word sacred mean? “Sacred is something that is held in high regard. Something beautiful and untarnished. A thing that is left undisturbed so as to be an Inspiration to others. Something loved and revered”. That describes it PERFECTLY! The part of this definition that resonates so deeply with me is SO AS TO BE AN INSPIRATION TO OTHERS. That is so important to inspire other people to show them that we can have beautiful love relationships. That they are real. That they do exist and here is an example for you to see. It’s about what you demonstrate and show to yourself, your partner and the world.
GREAT LOVE is very pure it cuts right through all the illusions of fear, lack, scarcity to the truth at the center of our being.
One of my all time favorite quotes about love comes from the movie “Moulin Rouge” by the brilliant Baz Luhrmann. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”. I am beginning to understand that there are a lot of people in this world who don’t realize they cut themselves off to some of the most magical and wonderful experiences of love. They think they will be safe and protected behind the wall they have created around their heart. However, once their heart and soul has had a taste of GREAT LOVE there is no going back. Once you know even a little, how wonderful true love can be, you can never deny yourself that pleasure ever again. The next step is to be courageous and let it happen.
This week’s picture comes directly from the beauty and sacredness of Mother Nature…truly amazing!!!
“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
– James Baldwin (American Writer, Poet, Playwright & Civil Rights Activist)