As I gather my thoughts to write this week’s post I feel some trepidation about the topic I have chosen. This one pushes a lot of people’s buttons – including my own! TRUST in the dictionary is defined as “Someone or something that is reliable, good, honest and effective” and also “Confident expectation of something; hope.” Phew just typing that makes me want to take a deep breath!
Where do I begin?
I think trust for me has become something where my view has truly changed. I used to think that it was the ‘be all and end all’ that if trust was broken, that was it. The final straw. No coming back from that one. However, my observations and experiences have begun to change the way I look at this word and how it is expressed in a relationship. First of all I used to think that if trust was ‘broken’ in some way that it was someone doing this awful thing to me. Now I have come to understand that if trust is broken the person who did that actually did it to themselves. Seeing it from this different perspective has helped me to have compassion for the other person. There can be many reasons why they felt they needed to behave in a certain way – from unresolved childhood issues, to lack of role models, to allowing their ego to take over, the list goes on. I am not advocating for unhealthy relationships, I just feel there needs to be more flexibility in this word TRUST as it pertains to CREATING GREAT LOVE.
Sometimes as human beings we can make things so very complex and complicated. I’m not sure why this happens, maybe we just forget about the simplicity of life. Flowers do not struggle to grow, the sun does not struggle to shine. It’s still shinning above the clouds even when we can’t see it.
I feel the best thing to do is allow someone to be who they are. If you do not like a behavior you are seeing or experiencing you can speak up and express how you feel and then put your focus on the things that you do love and appreciate about them. It’s up to you to change your thoughts on how you perceive things that happen. Once you do this, one of two things will happen – either the person’s behavior will change to meet you where you are focused or they will continue as they are and someone else will come into your life who is more in alignment with what you desire.
One of the best pieces of advice on love came to me from a very wise 7 year old girl she simply said “When you love someone, you just love them.” I could not have put it better myself.
This week’s picture came to me while I was walking by a shop. It’s simple and sweet and a beautiful reminder…..
“We can only learn to love by loving.”
– Iris Murdoch (British Author & Philosopher)